I'm in love and not in love with any man, no with a very special man and he is sooooo cute and nice and handsome and totally aaahhhhhhh

I'm, as one of my best friends would call it, flabbergasted

I met him with a clan called 'The Roaming Ravens' and from the moment I met him I felt a connection between us, something was there, but I didn't know what it was until a few weeks ago.
later on, with samhain, we talked and I noticed that, whenever I am around him, I tend to tell everything about me, and I like talking about thing and knowing things about him. I wanted to be with him
I haven't had that with any other man in my life!

I ended my relationship with jaap on november 9th, because I didn't feel anything for him, exept friendship
a few weeks later I noticed him (I won't say his name, maybe in another journal), let's call him: 'J'.
I noticed that I liked J, his appearance, his way of talking, his everything.

I started to flirt with him on the dutch myspace (hyves) and he responded in a positive way, he even mentioned in something called a 'tik' that he was flirting with me.
This is the very first time that I flirted with someone, and that that person flirted back! And it feels great, finally really falling in love, and the person in question answering your crush in a good way (at least, that's how I see it)

we have like a lot in common, that much that it is kind of freaking me out a bit, I never knew that it was possible to have so much in common with a person, and I don't believe in coincidence.

It's great, we want to tell each other soo much, but we simply don't have the time to tell everything when we're both on MSN, so he asked to visit him in Amsterdam, where he lives.
I would love to go to him, but I am also scared, what if the topic comes up and he tells me that he doesn't like me back? that I was just 'hallucinating'? I don't want to dissappoint myself again.

but I can't help myself, I can't stop thinking about him, how it would feel when we would kiss, how his body feels, how he lives, what kind of job he has.
I want to meet his family, and create a family, have children, grow old.
I know that I am thinking way ahead of myself, and that this isn't realistic at the moment, but I like dreaming about it.

if falling in love with him is a crime, then I'm guilty as hell!!